Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm txoj kev txaj muag

Txim psychology khoom raws li ib tug tshuaj tiv thaiv rau cov txheej xwm, qhov uas peb twb tsis mus txog rau par, coj ib tug neeg, feem ntau - tsis tau raws li kev ntshaw. Nyob rau hauv dav dav, lub rov tshwm sim ntawm no lawm - ib tug litmus xeem ntawm adaptation rau tus tib neeg lub neej, muaj peev xwm ntsuam xyuas lawv ua thiab los sib piv lawv nrog cov miv nyuas. Raws li nrog nws thiab nrog cov miv nyuas ntawm lwm tus neeg. Tsis pub dhau vim li cas. Peb yuav ua tau txim txhaum ntawm, uas yog, los mus xav tias ua txhaum, yog hais tias koj tau ua txhaum rau ib tug neeg, lig dhau lawm, yog hais tias peb yog lub luag hauj lwm rau lub fact tias "ib yam dab tsi mus tsis ncaj ncees lawm". Qhov teeb meem lus dag nyob rau hauv lub fact tias cov tsov ntxhuav feem ntawm tib neeg yuav coj lub luag hauj lwm rau txhua yam thiab txhua yam lawm: Niam chim siab, yog li ntawd kuv ua mob rau nws. Tus txiv npau taws hnub no, ces lub kua zaub yog tsis zoo txaus npaj mus blame. Thiab ntau npaum li cas. Lub hauv paus ntsiab lus no feem ntau yog ntshiab.

Qhov ntawd yog feem ntau cov luag hauj lwm, thiab nrog nws - lub liam rau ib yam dab tsi uas yog tsis tau nkag mus rau nws expands. Qhov no caw belongs rau cov qeb ntawm neurotic, thiab koj yuav tsum tau tshem ntawm nws. Tab sis yuav ua li cas yog li ntawd, raws li ib tug txoj cai, nws yog heev yooj yim. Cov cwj pwm liam koj tus kheej rau tag nrho cov flaws ntawm tib neeg tso nrees nyob rau hauv peb thiab tsis txhob cia li ploj. Yog li ntawd yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm txoj kev xav ntawm kev txhaum?

1. Nws yuav tsum tau meej txog cov ntsiab lus ntawm koj "chaw ua hauj lwm". Yog hais tias qhov no yooj yim lo lus nug ua teeb meem, tsim ib daim ntawv teev ntawm qhov chaw uas ib txoj kev zuam tag nrho cov kev ua uas feem ntau cov feem ntau ua rau lwm bout ntawm kev txhaum los yog cov neeg lub sij hawm, tom qab uas tus txhaum tshwm sim looj hlias, "Lig rau kev ua hauj lwm", "Tsis txhob hu thaum cog lus (a) "" Cov kev sib tham nrog kuv niam, "etc. Compiling ib daim ntawv teev, koj muaj peev xwm siv ib ob peb hnub nyob rau hauv thiaj li yuav to taub zoo dua lub hauv paus ntawm kev txhaum.

2. Thaum daim ntawv yog npaj txhij, nws tseem tau mus pib lub tsom xam. Yog hais tias nws yog raws li nyob rau hauv ib tug ntau dua los yog tsawg leej thiab meej qhov kev txiav txim xws li "tsoo nws tus txiv xov tooj", "Tsis nco qab txog lub hnub tseem ceeb," nws yog ib tug heev qub lawm ntawm kev txhaum los hais nrog cov uas yuav ua rau kev txiav txim zoo nyob rau hauv exceptional mob. Hais txog lawv - rau hauv qab no. Txawm li cas los, Yog hais tias daim ntawv no yog ua los ntawm zoo xws li cov piav qhia, xws li "Kuv yuav tsis ua kom tiav cov miv nyuas," "Ib yam dab tsi raug mob," "vague kev txiav txim zoo ntawm kev txhaum tom qab lub buns noj" - nws yog lub sij hawm mus xav txog yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm kev txaj muag. Qhov ntau amorphous thiab vague hais, qhov ntau muaj yog "tsis meej thiab piav tsis tau" lawm, lub cawu cub lingers nyob rau hauv koj lub tob. Tab sis peb twb tog rau cov tshuaj.

3. Nrog rau ib tug mus tas kev txiav txim zoo ntawm kev txhaum yuav tsum tau combated. Thawj to taub qhov twg hauv lub khau pinches. Feem ntau ntawm cov "yeej ib txwm txhaum" coj nyob rau hauv ib tsev neeg uas muaj xav tau. Cov me nyuam nyob rau hauv xws tsev neeg muaj me me los yog tsis muaj paj tau paj rau kev ua yuam kev, lawv muaj feem ntau piv rau ntau muaj kev vam meej kawm ntawv ua ke, cov neeg nyob ze 'offspring. Thiab, tej zaum, cov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws: lawv tsis paub mus nrog kev ntxhov siab vim thiab hais tias, tab sis yog tsawg zaus cultivated cawu cub.

Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm kev txaj muag, yog tias koj coj nws nyob rau hauv xws li ib tug tsev neeg? Ua ntej, twb paub lawm tias koj - muaj tsis yog ib tug me nyuam, thiab tam sim no koj yog free rau txiav txim siab thaum twg xav tias muaj txim txhaum, thiab thaum twg - tsis muaj. Ob, muab koj txoj cai tsis ncaj ncees lawm. Tag nrho cov nyob neeg tsis ncaj ncees lawm, los ntawm no (thiab qhov no yog ib qho tseem ceeb point!) Tsis muaj ib tug tau tuag lawm, cov kev puas tsuaj tsis tshwm sim.

4. Qhov no hnov kev cob qhia yog tsis zoo li muaj tej nyhuv nyob rau hauv lub sij hawm luv luv. Ua nws ib tug cwj pwm kom khiav ntawm kev txhaum thiab lub tswv yim tau arisen los hloov lub lwm yam: "Kuv muaj ib txoj cai tsis ncaj ncees lawm kuv txais kuv tus kheej.". Thaum lub sij hawm, yog tias tseeb xws li ib tug cwj pwm yuav ua ib tug tsis tu ncua, koj yuav nco ntsoov tias qhov teeb meem no tau yav tas los tau txais kev pab raws li ib tug pas mus sim nws tus kheej-liam, thiab tam sim no ua rau ib tug txawv cov tshuaj tiv thaiv.

5. Cia peb rov qab mus rau cov neeg uas muaj mus tas li muaj kev txhaum nyob rau hauv lub zoo tib yam thiab txhua hnub, tab sis nws yog tiag differentiated lub sijhawm (saib para. 2). Xav txog nws, yog hais tias koj ntes tau nyob rau hauv ib tug nuv ntxias? "Darling, koj tsis tau yuav paj, kuv xav tias mob," "Kuv nyiam, Yog hais tias koj tseem mus ua noj ces kuv mam li muaj noj hmo nrog tej phooj ywg nyob ib lub tsev noj mov." Koj manipulated. Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm txoj kev txaj muag ntawm no xwm? Siv rau kev tso qhov tseeb hais tias txhua tus neeg yog tsis yog lub luag hauj lwm rau peb cov cwj pwm txawv, tab sis kuj muaj txoj cai mus xaiv lawv tus kheej cov lus teb rau koj tej yam ua, seb nws mob, kev chim siab, los yog lwm yam cwj pwm txawv.

Txim - ib tug unpleasant nov ntawm nqaij tawv. Psychology qhia rau peb kom peb nrog nws.