Yuav ua li cas yog codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo? Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency: Psychologist

Muaj coob tus neeg nyob rau hauv lawv lub neej kev nyuaj siab nrog lub tswvyim ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo, thiab tsis txawm paub txog nws. Tus txiv neej, uas tau poob lawv cov autonomy, nyob rau hauv ib tug khub ntawm tsis muaj zog thiab lam tau lam ua, nws yog nquag nquag txhoj puab heev lub xeev. Nws lub plawv yeej paub tias nws yog nyob rau ntawm lwm tus neeg, tab sis lub hlwb insists hais tias nws yuav tsum yuav li ntawd. Muaj ntau khub niam txiv tsis paub yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo. Lawv tsis pom zoo, nrhiav tshiab cov neeg koom tes, tab sis lub neej yog tseem unchanged.

Codependency thiab tsev neeg

Codependency - ib lub xeev ntawm muaj zog, ib tug tej zaum txawm hais tias, ib qho txawv txav Symptoms mus rau lwm tus neeg, thiab nws tshwm sim tsis tau tsuas yog nyob rau hauv romantic cov tsev koom nyiaj. Leej niam thiab tus ntxhais, tus kwv tij thiab muam, leej txiv thiab cov me nyuam muaj peev xwm kuj yuav tuaj koom nyob rau hauv xws kev sib raug zoo. Piv txwv li, ib tug txiv nyob ib ncig ntawm yog txhawb cov hluas tus ntxhais, nws cov tubtxib saum ntuj lub qhov muag yuam nws mus ua tej yam ntawm nws whims. Nws yog nyob ntawm nws tus ntxhais, thiab nws muaj peev xwm tsis sib ntaus sib tua rov qab, thiab nws, nyob rau hauv lem, paub txog qhov no, nws tseem muab nws.

Qhov kev piv txwv considers lub codependent tus cwj pwm qauv ntawm lub pope thiab tus me nyuam. Cov ntxhais yog ib tug ntxias, thiab, feem ntau yuav, nyob rau hauv lub neej yav tom ntej, thaum laus txaus, nws yuav saib rau ib tug poj niam, ib yam li nws txiv. Nws yog ib qho yooj yim mus muab thiab xav tias nws yuav tsum yuav li ntawd. Yog li, nyob rau hauv nws lub neej yuav tsum tam sim no codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo. Yuav ua li cas tau tshem ntawm nws, hluas nkauj, ntawm chav kawm, tsis paub, vim hais tias nws yog tsis zoo li yuav tau xav txog dab tsi yog qhov ntxias.

Muaj ib co yuav zoo li ntawd mus yuav tus tseem ceeb tshaj plaws nyob rau hauv lub tsev neeg - nws yog qhov zoo, tab sis, raws li ib tug txoj cai, nws yog ib lub nra hnyav. Cov poj niam yuav tau cov teg num, mus hais kom nws tus txiv thiab nws thiaj li txaus siab hais tias nws spineless thiab txhua yam uas tsis muaj peev xwm txiv neej.

Codependency - ib tug kab mob?

Tseeb, muaj ntau psychologists ntseeg hais tias nws yog ib tug kab mob uas muaj peev xwm tsis tas yuav kho tau zoo. Muaj ob peb txoj kev uas qhia yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog quav. Nyob rau hauv ntau txoj kev, cov kev nyias hais txawv nyias, tiam sis lawv tag nrho cov taw tes rau lub fact tias no "tus kab mob" yog yug nyob rau hauv lub thaum yau.

Cov neeg ua hauj lwm ntawm cov niam txiv yog tsa ib tug me nyuam, muab nws txoj kev kawm ntawv thiab kev txawj ntse, uas nws yuav mus nyob rau rau hauv adulthood. Cov me nyuam yuav tsum tau xav hais tias lawv hlub thiab to taub. Rau 6 xyoo lawv tau tsim xaav ntawm lub ntiaj teb no, uas nyob rau hauv lub neej yav tom ntej yog ib qhov nyuaj hloov. Qhov uas tsis muaj kev ruaj ntseg nyob rau hauv lub sij hawm no tas ib tug lossis loj lub khw ntawm cov me nyuam ceg, uas lawv nqa nrog lawv tag nrho kuv lub neej.

Feem ntau cov feem ntau, cov me nyuam uas nedolyubili, loj hlob mus txog tsis khab seeb. Lawv yog cov heev kaw thiab ntshai. Raws li cov laus, lawv yog los ntawm lwm tus neeg, thiab lawv yog heev yooj yim mus siv. Feem ntau cov tsis txawm paub hais tias lawv yog nyob rau hauv tus ntawm manipulators, thiab, raws li, tsis paub yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev hlub thiab nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog lwm leej lwm tus.

Yuav ua li cas kom paub txog ib lub xeev ntawm dependence rau lwm tus neeg

Cov thawj zaug uas saib peb tus kheej thiab peb cov kev sib raug zoo nrog cov neeg. Sim honestly teb ib ob peb lus nug:

1. Cas koj kiam koj tus kheej rau lub failures ntawm lwm leej lwm tus?
2. Koj muaj tsis muaj hom phiaj nyob rau hauv lub neej, thiab koj nyob nraum xwb nkim koj lub sij hawm nyob rau hauv vain rau kev ua hauj lwm thiab tsev neeg nyias muaj nyias haujlwm?
3. Koj puas muaj koj cov tseem ceeb lwm yam ntawm lwm yam uas (nyob qhov twg koj yuav mus; ntau npaum li cas rov qab, uas yog hu koj)? Thiab koj yuav kom tswj tau nws?
4. Txawm hais tias koj tsis xav kom nws koj puas kam pab ib tug neeg selflessly?
5. Koj yog ib tug paub txaj muag neeg? Koj ua tsis tau yeej ib txwm yooj yim mus nug rau cov lus qhia los ntawm ib tug passerby?
6. Yog koj txhawj xeeb txog dab tsi rau lwm tus neeg xav txog koj?

Yog hais tias tsawg kawg yog ib nrab ntawm cov lus nug uas koj teb tias yog no - koj yog codependent neeg. Koj muaj peev xwm yuav manipulated, thiab yog hais tias xws li ib tug neeg yog tsis txawm nyob ze, nws yeej ib txwm yuav tsum tau, vim hais tias cov leeg zoo heev "saib lawv cov neeg raug." Nws yog nthuav tias nyob rau hauv lub co-dependent kev sib raug zoo yog ib txwm muab kev koom tes rau yam tsawg kawg yog ob tug neeg. Uas yog, nyob rau hauv xws li ib tug khub, ob qho tib si nrog ib tug neeg muaj nyob rau hauv lub xeev no, nyob rau hauv sib npaug zos qhov chaw. Cov neeg nyob rau hauv ib tug sib yuav thiab tsis txawm xav hais tias hais txog dab tsi uas yuav muaj no codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo. Yuav ua li cas tau tshem ntawm tus mob no thiab nrhiav kev sib haum xeeb, lawv tsis paub yog. Thiab cov tib neeg uas to taub hais tias dependence rau lwm tus neeg, ntseeg hais tias qhov no yuav tsis hloov.

Ntshai tham txog lawv cov kev ntshaw

Codependent neeg yog heev kaw nyob rau hauv lawv tus kheej. Thaum xub thawj siab ib muag, ntawm chav kawm, cov neeg yuav ua tau heev sociable, nws muaj peev xwm tham rau cov sij hawm funny dab neeg, tab sis yog tsis zoo li mus qhia ib yam dab tsi txog lawv tus kheej. Cov neeg no yog ntshai tham txog lawv cov kev ntshaw openly. Lawv yog cov heev fond ntawm qhov kev ua si hu ua "Kwv yees kuv tus kheej." Piv txwv li, thaum lub Dining lub rooj rau lo lus nug: "Yuav ua li cas koj xav: tshuaj yej los yog kua txiv" - cov lus teb tej zaum yuav tsum tau ua raws los ntawm: "ua li cas koj xav tau, kuv tsis tu." Qhov no hais txog implies hais tias cov questioner yuav tsum tseem xav thiab twv tej kev xav ntawm ib tug tus nws nug. Uas yog raws nraim li cas tshwm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo. Yuav ua li cas tau tshem ntawm no "tus kab mob", lub ob peb tsis paub, thiab yog li ntawd nyob nrog rau qhov no tag nrho nws lub neej.

Obsessions, los yog ntsiag to ua si

Lub codependent khub niam txiv muaj peev xwm feem ntau nrhiav tau ib qhov teeb meem uas cov neeg uas nrog txiav txim siab rau lub thib ob ib nrab thiab tam sim ntawd rebuff lawv. Piv txwv qhov teeb meem no rau hauv qab no.

Tus txiv tsis nco qab zoo siab koj nyiam hnub ntawm lub 8 ntawm lub peb hlis ntuj. Tus poj niam tam sim ntawd, tsis tau nug rau nws, txiav txim siab hais tias nws puas tau nws nyob rau hauv lub hom phiaj. Tau kawg nws ua tau, thiab nug cov lus nug, tab sis nyob rau hauv kuv lub siab nws muaj ib tug npaj txhij teb: "Tus txiv ho hais tias nyob lub hom phiaj, kom qhia ib zaj lus qhia rau kuv, nws yuav tsim nyog rau nws mus noj kua zaub ntsuab." Ces tus poj niam pib mus txua ib lub hom phiaj ntawm cov kua zaub ntsuab: "Thiab kuv yuav mus nrog nws tus phooj ywg mus kav thiab siv tag nrho cov nyiaj tau los ntawm nws card." Tus txiv nyob rau hauv disbelief ntseeg hais tias nws tus poj niam yog ib yam nkaus thiab wasteful, thiab txiav txim siab tsis mus coj lub tsev tag nrho cov nyiaj.

Yog tias ib tug snowball unsaid lus thiab tej yam yuav tau misinterpreted overgrown nrog tshiab lub sijhawm uas nws mus txog rau thaum lub caij nplooj zeeg mus txog rau thaum cov niam txiv nyob rau hauv lub taub hau. Thaum zoo tshaj plaws, qhov no yuav ua nyob rau hauv ib tug lossis loj scandal, thiab rau ntawm phem tshaj - yuav ua rau kev sib nrauj.

kawm hais lus

Thaum cov neeg paub hais tias lawv muaj nyob rau hauv xws li ib tug kev sib raug zoo, lawv muaj ib lo lus nug: "Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo?" Berry Psychologist Uaynhold tswv yim yuav ua tau heev pab tau nyob rau hauv kev daws qhov teeb meem no. Nws thiab nws tus poj niam, Jenny taug kev raws li txoj kev ntawm liberation. Thaum lawv tau ntsib, lawv txhua tus twb tau sib yuav, thiab lawv pw ib co stereotypes txog tsev neeg lub neej. Cov phau ntawv "Liberation ntawm codependency," sau xws zoo sau ntawv raws li txiv hmab txiv ntoo Uaynhold thiab Dzheney Uaynhold piav codependency teeb meem thiab lawv lub ntsiab.

Tus thawj (thiab feem ntau tseem ceeb) kauj ruam nyob rau hauv tau txais tshem ntawm qhov teeb meem no yog cov muaj peev xwm mus nrog lawv tham txog lawv txoj kev xav nws ob ib nrab. Tsis muaj tsawg ib qho tseem ceeb yog kawm kom paub mloog koj nyiam tus neeg.

Ntawm no yog ib tug prime piv txwv ntawm yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev hlub sau phau ntawv ntawm phau ntawv no. Tsis ntev ua ntej Berry tau ntsib Jenny, nws faus nws tus poj niam Barbara. Nws yog heev nyuaj siab thiab nyob rau hauv yuav tsum tau ntawm cov nyiaj them yug. Tshiab tus poj niam tsis coj ua txhaum rau nws thiab txhawb Berry. Thaum lub sij hawm Jenny mloog dab neeg txog nws tus poj niam ex-tus poj niam thiab muab nws lub tswv yim yuav ua li cas kom tiv nrog no kev puas tsuaj. Nws tau qhib rau nws, thiab nws rau nws tsis tau xeem ua txhaum rau nws.

Ceev cov tshuaj rau qhov teeb meem

Muaj yog ib qho tseem ceeb tshaj plaws uas yuav pab tau tshem ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo. Nyob rau hauv txhua tsev neeg tej teeb meem teeb meem, thiab nws yog inevitable. Txij li thaum txhua leej txhua tus yog sib txawv, txhua leej txhua tus muaj ib lub tswv yim, thiab feem ntau nws yuav tsis phim tus khub txoj kev xav. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb heev thaum muaj ib tug teeb meem tsis zais ib tug grudge tiv thaiv nws tus lover. Yog hais tias nws cov lus ua rau koj, qhia rau nws txog nws nyob rau tib lub sij hawm ntawd. Tsis txhob tos rau hauv txoj cai lub sij hawm ntawd, thiab tsis txhob cia ib tug grudge nyob rau hauv nws lub siab.

Thov tau nyob rau cov kev pab

Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom nkag siab txog yuav ua li cas thaum yau yaam puab paub yog kev puas siab rau koj, thiab zoo li cas ua rau koj ua nyob rau tsev neeg. Sim kom daws tau qhov teeb meem ntawm thaum yau nrog koj lwm ib nrab. Ntawm no yog lwm cov piv txwv ntawm yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo sau phau ntawv Berry Uaynhold thiab Dzheney Uaynhold. Raws li ib tug me nyuam ntawm niam txiv Jen tau txais tsawg tshav kub thiab lub cev sib chwv. Berry pab nws daws nrog qhov teeb meem no: nws nqa nws nyob rau hauv nws caj npab thiab stroked ib tug ntev lub sij hawm, nws luv luv rov qab mus rau nws thaum yau thiab hloov los ntawm nws niam thiab txiv. Koj yuav tsum nug koj tus hlub muab rau koj ib yam dab tsi uas tej zaum koj yuav tsis tau txais los ntawm lawv niam lawv txiv. Qhov no tso cai rau koj mus rau dawb rau koj tus kheej los ntawm ntau ceg txuam nrog thaum yau.

hloov tus khub

Ib txhia neeg ntseeg tau hais tias nyob rau hauv thiaj li yuav tau tshem ntawm codependency, nws yog tsim nyog los sib nrauj ib tug txiv neej. Txawm li cas los, txoj kev no yog tsis yeej ib txwm zoo. Qhov kev xaiv no yog tau tsuas yog thaum tus hlub kiag li tsis xav hloov ib yam dab tsi nyob rau hauv nws lub neej. Yuav ua li cas yuav tshwm sim rau hauv tib lub hloov, yog hais tias nws tsis muaj txoj kev codependency nyob rau hauv kev sib raug zoo? Yuav ua li cas kom tshem tau ntawm dab tsi nws tsis pom thiab tsis tau tiag?

Tiam sis yog tias koj tseem ceeb lwm yam yog cov npaj txhij mus hloov, npaj txhij los mus hloov lub npaj chav kawm ntawm lub neej thiab tau tshem ntawm codependency, ces koj yuav tsum mus kev no txoj kev ua ke. Cov kev hloov uas tsim nyog rau leej neeg, yog li ntawd txhua tus ntawm lawv yuav xav tias lawv tus kheej-sufficiency thiab ua ib tug neeg.

Cov feem nthuav, tej zaum, nyob rau hauv co-dependent kev sib raug zoo uas lawv qhaj ntawv ua rau ib tug neeg ib tug cua daj cua dub ntawm tsis zoo tus cwj pwm txawv. Yuav ua li cas quav cawv yuav tsum tau haus, yog li thaum xub thawj co-dependent cov neeg koom tes yuav tau quarrels thiab scandals. Nyob rau hauv psychology lub sij hawm rau kev tso cai los ntawm xws li ib tug kev sib raug zoo no yog hu ua interdependence. Nyob rau hauv ib tug khub ntawm txhua tus ntawm cov lovers yuav tsum xav tias koj ntseeg thiab self-sufficiency. Ib tug yuav tsum paub hais tias nws hlub nws tiag tiag rau leej twg nws yeej yog. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom paub hais tias tsuas yog ob tug tiag tiag free neeg yuav muaj kev zoo siab ua ke thiab yog interdependent.